I Have a Case of the Pre-Draft Crazies

Good god, it's one day away from the draft. 

Every year, the NFL draft never fails to be one of the most entertaining and orgiastic stretches of time that football fans can possibly imagine. It makes us burst with joy at the seams watching the last-minute trades, the from-out-of-nowhere gambles, the late-round sleepers….it's enough to make a diehard football fan just want to go to sleep and wake up in late August. 

The Seahawks are in an interesting spot for this year's draft. Unless you've been living under a rock for the past few months, you'll know the team traded away its first-round pick (#25 overall) to the Minnesota Vikings in exchange for top-flight receiver/punt returner/general badass extraordinaire Percy Harvin. John Schneider and Pete Carroll later went on to say they're treating Harvin as their first-round pick, which is an otherwise nice way of saying "Percy is better than anyone you could possibly draft in the first round this year, because nobody knows what the hell's going on." Better to just trade that pick for a proven commodity who can do everything you'd ever want in a read-option offense – and who also happens to only be 24 years old. That's at least 45 years younger than Brandon Weeden. 

With the offense like a loaded gun waiting to be fired in the general direction of San Francisco at this point, the Seahawks appear to be going to the defense with their first pick this year (#56 overall, in the second round.) There are a few prospects that come to mind here, but the one that's intrigued me the most is the Estonian Beast, DE Margus Hunt. 

As an Olympic athlete, this 6-8 behemoth of a man is a former discus thrower, and played football for the first time in his life at SMU over the past two years. He routinely gave opposing QBs nightmares, and would even-more-routinely use opposing offensive linemen as giant meaty weapons when chasing them. He's like some kind of ruthless gladiator who looks constantly angry about the fact that there's a man trying to throw a football in front of him. MARGUS DISAPPROVES OF YOUR FUTILE ATTEMPTS AT PASSING. 

For a while, Hunt was the draft's best-kept secret. But that was only until his Combine performance. He posted record-shattering numbers in Indy, including a 4.60 time in the 40-yard dash. 

In case you're keeping track at home, DeAndre Hopkins, one of this draft's most-buzzed wide receivers, ran a 4.57.  Hopkins is 7 inches shorter and 80 pounds lighter than Hunt. 

But with a performance like that, the secret about Hunt could no longer be kept. The entire league immediately took notice of him, and his stock shot up draft boards so fast that he was suddenly in the discussion for a first-round pick. And as if to add insult to injury, he's now been mocked several times as going to the 49ers at No. 31 overall. 

If the Hawks don't get him — and they likely won't, barring any unexpected manuevering back into the first round — all I ask of the Football Gods is that he doesn't go to SF. That can't be too much to ask, right? 

So let's say Hunt is off the board when the Hawks are on the clock. (Hawk around the clock? Hawk out with your clock out? Alright, I'll stop.) What happens then? While this draft might be completely divided on who's actually any good, one thing John and Pete have proven time and again is that they're not afraid to reach for a player they've evaluated as meeting their scheme when they can get him, and they don't give a shit what you or Mel Kiper thinks about it. 

Here's my vote for the Margus Hunt Fallback Plan – 

This guy – Alabama DT Jesse Williams, nicknamed "Tha Monstar." 

Note the spelling of the nickname – it's on purpose. He's a native of Brisbane, Australia, and hails from a rugby background. He stands at a monolithic 6-3, 323 pounds, and posted a 600-pound bench press at the Combine. That's like bench pressing three Russell Wilsons. 

Williams is 22, and earned an all-Southeastern Conference second team selection in 2012. He ran an impressive but not Margus Hunt-equal 4.90 in the 40-yard dash, which is still damn impressive considering he's the size of a small Humvee. Williams would add a solid run-stopping element to the Seahawks' interior d-line, pairing nicely with Brandon Mebane and newly-signed Tony McDaniel. 

Plus, Williams has face tattoos, and got one to commemorate Alabama's victory over LSU in the NCAA national championship. Who doesn't want a 300-pound defensive tackle with FACE TATTOOS on their team??? 

The Seahawks are without many sure-fire needs going into this draft, and could easily pick the best player available at 56 overall. And that best player just might be this monstrosity of a human being from Alabama. 

But he's still not Margus Hunt.